St. Patrick’s Day

Well today - day two - was a little bit harder... a little more tears and frustration... horseback riding was cancelled and the disappointment from that had ripples... but really that was a small speed bump in an otherwise pretty good day... all things considered... i talked to clients in Sweden, my brother in the U.K. And my mom down the road... i have been calling my mom to chat everyday since this started getting crazy...i called her mid-week last week to say that ... since I’d been in California i didn’t think it’d be a good idea for us to see each other... but its kind of hard... knowing she’s alone and isolated... she’s a pretty solitary person anyway - but at least gets out to do something in the community a few times a week... pulling that time away.. well it’s isolating... anyway some good chats and discussions... with my coworkers and colleagues too... how to keep a level head, what are  the best things to do... how to decide what to do with our kids... what to think of how it’s being handled, or not handled by our administration... all of these topics and more... i think its clear to all we are going to see things get worse... and that we are potentially on the cusp of a very new and different way of life... and that hopefully when we are through the worse of it - though things will be different... we’ll be okay...

I’ve read the wise words of friends and colleagues sharing a historical perspective, or a global one, reminding me to check my privilege as most folks in the world live with the ravages of disease daily... that this is only one of many dangers... that humanity has weathered many a ravaging like this throughout Time... its important to keep those perspectives in mind...

Still its hard to focus... challenging to convince myself that the sticky notes with tasks and todos are meaningful in this time... but they are. Some of the work i am doing is literally in service to labs that are researching and analyzing the virus and its potential cures... so yes... that excel sheet does need to be reviewed and corrected... that bug does need to be written up and submitted... Thankfully we can laugh a bit too... got to explain to my team lead on a call today that i was a couple of minutes late because i was cleaning leprechaun pee from the toilet

And yet... i seem to be more inclined to give weight and thought to the strange decision of whether or not it feels safe to let my kids go to their athletic activities or spend time with friends... I recognize that this being a new thought process for me is also a position of privilege... there are many in the world, for various reasons, that have to make that decision, hold that thought in their head without the thread of covid 19. we are playing these interaction and activity choices by ear and rolling day to day. We are trying to keep them occupied and entertained enough that they aren’t thinking too hard about missing their friends and their riding and skating and softball and all of it... but... they do... and so do i... i miss that stuff too...