In my last blog I explored the tired expression, “it takes a village to raise a child…” This month a different platitude has permeated my consciousness. “Home is where the heart is” - especially potent because we are moving… again…

As I spent last Sunday morning sweeping scrubbing and clearing out a porch, I was pondering, what is it that makes a home? While my mother-in-law and wife scrubbed and painted inside, I swept sixteen layers of dust off the porch and the reality of once again uprooting and replanting ourselves began to hit.

All. the. stuff.

Moving is hard, sure, but this time, compared to last year, should be a breeze, in so many ways; we are only moving across town, not 1200 miles, we have about a month to spend doing it, we know where we are going…

But it’s never easy is it?

I fantasize about being the kind of person who can carry everything they need or want on their back, or of having a clean, clutter-free house, ergonomically outfitted and streamlined. Not like a motel room, obviously. It would be cozy and comfortable, but there would not be a size six pair of underwear on every flat surface, I would not trip over a pair of shoes around every corner (admittedly, usually my own). The stacks of paperwork would not grow exponentially in corners of basement closets.

But that’s not who I am, that’s not my family. And it’s really okay, it’s more than okay, it’s home.

I am worried about the new house, it’s old, it’s shaped weird. There are parts of it that will never be clean… I don’t know how we are going to fit ourselves into the awkward spaces, and make it feel right.

But something amazing has happened in this process, this time. While expressing my worries to friends and family I have gotten, repeatedly, an astounding compliment, “Oh, you guys always make you place feel like home, it doesn’t matter where you are, you guys always create such a comfortable atmosphere.” (that’s paraphrasing a few people). Well, I couldn’t be prouder.

Now if I could just master the nose twitch like Samantha and zap everything over to the new house in an instant, we could skip all the hard labor and life would be perfect.

mujo

I have been thinking about

Transience,

Impermanence

“letting go”

And what that means

to me as a father and as a person

As a husband

And a human

And I guess

Where I have come to

So far

Is this

We Must Let Go

We Must Love

And Loving

Is Letting Go

Think of all the things you must let go of to love yourself

To love God (or whatever you name the things you believe)

Faith is an act of letting go - not just spiritual faith – but any faith…

Letting go of doubt & recognizing it

Acknowledging it, embracing it and then…

letting it go.

In a partnership

Or in a team

In a family

We let go of some parts ourselves

Becoming part of a thing means

Every new day we let go of our former selves a bit….

while maintaining a bit of space for ourselves.

There is an idea that this concept of letting go

Of Transience

Of impermanence

Is one of the cornerstones of existence…

We are always letting go…

Everything is changing or falling away..

Entropy.

I like that idea.

I think we should embrace that idea.

It is Beautiful – it is what gives things, moments, feelings, any meaning, any substance.

They end.

The experience of this, for me, has never been more painful or wonderful than as a parent.

It is the reason baby pictures of my children make me cry,

And pictures of them yesterday make me cry.

And thinking about them hitting puberty or going away to college, or The Peace Corp, or war

Makes me cry.

Pure. Powerful. Promise.

They are tears of joy.

And yet…

They will never be babies again.

Mix By Request::For Jay, Pet your Kitty Vol. 2

Mix by Request: For Jay, Pet your Kitty Vol. 2 by dannytdot

Cold Cold Water - Mirah
Black Eyed Dog - Nick Drake
Have You Ever - Brandi Carlile
MacCrimmon's Lament - Isla St Clair
Transformer Man - Neil Young
...Different Kinds of Happy - Mark Orton
Blue Mind - Alexi Murdoch
Between the Bars - Mojave 3
Down Where The Drunkards Roll - Richard & Linda Thompson
My Father's Waltz - Hem
One Fast Move Or I'm Gone - Jay Farrar & Benjamin Gibbard
Know - Nick Drake
Halleluiah - Reeltime Travelers
Company Of Friends - Danny Schmidt
Slim Slow Slider - Van Morrison
Wanting Memories - Keali I Reichel
Polsdance From Saltdal - Susanne Lundeng

Mix by Request: For Jay, Pet your Kitty. by dannytdot

Bari Improv - Khaki King
Furr - Blitzen Trapper
Laughing - David Crosby
Teenage Spaceship - Smog
Sprout and Bean - Joanna Newsom
Snow Lion - Feist (with Readymade FC)
Gengakki - On Ensemble
Long Ride Home - Patty Griffin
Stained Glass - Danny Schmidt
Ganges Delta Blues - Ry Cooder & V.M. Bhatt
Have a Little Faith in Me - John Hiatt
Downpour - Brandi Carlile
Whipping the Horses Eyes - Calexico
White Elephant Coat (acoustic) - School of Seven Bells

this mix was a request form my old friend Jay.

He is an actor and an intellectual - he wanted something, "woodsy, indie singer songwriter..."

it was a challenge because i dont have a lot of indie singer songwriter stuff - i tend to like bands and instrumental stuff, i like singer songwriters some, but not a lot of indie one's - its kind of songs here and there and a few artists whom i adore and so have a lot of there stuff....

i had fun working on this mix, but it was quite a project for me... there will be a part 2 at least and maybe a part 3 down the line....