sunday nights, monday mornings, and cake pop dreams

Last night felt like one of those Sunday nights from my childhood…

When home and family is so good and warm and comfortable...

That Monday feels like a cataclysm… just for taking that away.

The strange thing is

This weekend wasn’t particularly fun

in terms of dad type activities.

There was probably even more than the average amount of friction and frustration...

It was very much about running my children around

Girl. Scout. Cookies.

And getting semi - caught up on household stuff.

But it was full

And it was together

And the friction, while intense, was…

Navigable.

It felt like one of those Sunday nights from my childhood

Where back to school

Back to the slog

Was also back to apart

And back to the unknown

leaving the comfort of home and hearth

There’s a lot coming this week…

And the last few weeks have been pretty full.

I don’t see it slowing down…

Does anyone, ever?

Today we open up the ceiling to investigate the water damage in our entryway.

And Jens tenure file is submitted.

And the cookies need to get distributed

On top of all the usual madness.

This morning I woke up at 5am

Dreaming of cake pops.

I hate cake pops.

It was weird.

The first thing I remember in the dream is

That I was in a shop

Paying for cake pops

And the cashier noticed that my box of cake pops was torn open.

I paid anyway

But on further investigation I noticed that some of my cake pops were missing.

They seemed to be be individually wrapped.

So I went back to the cupboard/shelf where they were stocked and

There I discovered my missing pops…

So I added them to my box.

Another patron observed me adding cake pops to my box,

Which made me, of course, self conscious…

I think that act of awareness brought sentience in to the dream
and I thought… “This is weird… to dream about cake pops… I hate cake pops…

And it’s weirdly specific…”

The cake pops were pink and red and white with sprinkles also in those colors…

And the specificity of that seemed significant.

Or at least significant enough to take me out of the dream

And wake me up.

The mind is a strange thing.

Then I lay there

In bed

Thinking about my Monday

Playing that old game of whether or not to get up and start the day early...

In combat with the monkey mind.

Trying to make the most of this moment of stillness.

Laying there weighing the joys and benefits of the comfort of my bed…

And being beside Jen…

Her breathing and her warmth...
Against the list of concerns the monkey mind keeps running through;

The work - emails, prepping for meetings, the task list

The kitchen - the dishes, the lunches, the meal planning, the cleaning

The writing - getting the thoughts down

School board duties

Church committee duties

Girl Scout Cookies

Politics and our government…

Children activities

Tenure

Travel

On and on...

I take comfort I guess...

In the fact that I have received the gift of that moment to reflect.

And in the fact that....

While my weekend wasn’t a magical journey
filled exclusively with joy and fun and games…

It was full.

Full of togetherness...

Enough so that I am sad to say goodbye to my family and send them off this morning.

I’ll be happy for the quiet though.